Lets look at frustration – what it is and why it happens.

Well according to the Oxford Dictionary, frustration is the feeling of being upset or annoyed as a result of being unable to change or achieve something.

 

Donna Labermeier of the Huffington Post (18/10/2013) says that:-

 

‘All frustration stems from a lack of understanding. It may be in regard to a particular situation or a person’s behavior or choices. We feel worried, in a hurry, and out of control concerning whatever it is that is not “going well.”’

 

Sound familiar?

 

Often if things don’t go our way, or if they are not done how we want them to be, we find ourselves challenged, feeling a loss of personal control or feeling uncertain.  Often we are out of our comfort zone.

 

We try to analyze (or often over analyze) what has happened, how we can change the situation, why on earth did they did it like that!  We are often so busy feeling frustrated and going over and over the situation in our heads, that we forget to stop.  We forget to stop and take a moment to look at why we are feeling how we feel.

 

What is it that we are worried about, what are we frightened of, what do we think might happen as a consequence?

 

Maybe if you stop for a moment, take a step back and look at your reaction for a moment, then you might realise why you feel the way you do.  If you know why you are reacting this way, then you are usually more able to logically reason out what has actually happened.

 

Fear is often at the bottom of these negative emotions; fear we might be found wanting, we might not be good enough, we might get told off, someone might stop liking us, the list could go on.

 

What is your worst case scenario?  Take a moment, and I do mean a moment, please don’t focus all your attention on the worst case scenario, then look at whether reality is really likely to match this worry.  Logically, dispassionately, work through the situation and more often than not you will quickly come to realise that your worries really are unfounded.

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4 Comments

  1. I think that we’re all guilty of over analysing situations. It’s a human traid so only natural. What’s important is recognising this learning to find our own way of dealing with it. Easier said than done, but I do find talking things through with somone does help.

  2. Completely agree that we do frustrated and it is often down to fear of the unknown and being out of control. As mentioned in the previous post taking things through often helps with this feeling and sometimes someone else is able to help clarify things and make you feel better about the situation.

    Talking is therapy.

  3. Resolving frustration through talking therapy may not always lead to a long term solution unfortunately whereby putting an action inplace to alleviate it would be more beneficial.

  4. We are all, at times, guilty of reacting to a situation as we are “in the moment” and want to express ourselves. However, it’s a great tip to “take a moment” before giving our reaction – sometimes we need to wait until the next day and then respond. It take the heat of the moment away and often we are more logical and positive in our response.

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